How to Stop Letting Perfectionism Control You and Set Your Creativity Free

Ah, perfectionism. That voice that lives inside our heads and says, “You will never be good enough.”

It pushes us to tweak. To restart. To go further. Go harder. But often it can push us to quit. And more often than not, it can push us to never be happy with anything we do.

Perfectionism is one thing and one thing only: exhausting. It’s relentless and unforgiving. It is a whip we strike ourselves with when we deem ourselves not good enough.

At the end of the day, all we really want is to enjoy the act of creating. But with the constant pressure we put on ourselves to be perfect, it feels unachievable. What’s the point in wearing ourselves thin when creating something if we’re not even going to enjoy it?

And I get it. Breaking away from being a perfectionist isn’t easy. I would know. I’ve spent most of my life struggling against my own perfectionism, and have only in my mid-thirties begun to understand how it actually hurts me more than helps me. But creating an awareness of the times when perfectionism is starting to rear its ugly head is the first step.

So, full disclosure, I’m not an expert at shutting down my perfectionism. But I’ve learned a few things over the years, and I’ve compiled some useful strategies that I think may help you get started on combating perfectionism and finally allowing your creativity to flow freely.

Set realistic goals

Telling yourself “Today I will write 1000 words” is a much more achievable, more realistic goal than saying, “I’m going to write a novel.” Setting realistic goals usually requires us to break down one big goal into smaller, more easily attainable goals. Of course, you’re going to write that novel. But you’re going to do it one day at a time. If 1000 words is too much, roll it back. Write 500 words. And if even that seems like too much, set the goal in a way that feels doable to you and your lifestyle. Maybe telling yourself, “I will write for 15 minutes” is more effective. Even if all you write is 100 words in those 15 minutes, you will have achieved your goal, and you can pat yourself on the back. And who knows? Maybe you’ll want to keep going for longer than 15 minutes.

Embrace the first draft

I’m going to be completely straightforward with you here: Your first draft will be absolute trash. You cannot skip this step. You cannot go around it. Unfortunately, the only way is through. So the quicker you accept that, the quicker you’ll find that it’s so much easier to write a first draft when your expectations are on the floor, and the quicker that first draft will get written.

Separate writing and editing

Here’s where I myself have trouble. I love to edit and it’s where my perfectionism comes out most. But one of the best things you can do as a writer is to separate writing and editing. There’s a time for drafting and there’s a time for editing. It’s likely you’ll write several drafts when you start working on a novel. You’ll move things around, you’ll cut out scenes, you’ll cut out characters, add new ones, etc. This is the drafting part. Avoid editing here as much as possible. Just get the movement of the story down as best you can. Once your story structure feels solid, then you can start digging into your edits. It’ll be hard at first, but be easy on yourself and gently turn yourself away from editing when you’re still in the drafting stages of your novel.

Limit self-critique

Easier said than done, I know. That bully that craves perfectionism lives rent-free inside our minds, and if quieting it was easy, I wouldn’t be writing this post and you wouldn’t be reading it. However, we’re both here because the possibility of doing so does exist. Practicing self-compassion is key here. It helps to imagine ourselves talking to a younger version of ourselves. When you were a child, how would you have liked an adult to speak to you when you felt like you were doing terribly at something? Be that adult. Gently guide yourself out of the cycle of negative thinking. Remind yourself that perfection doesn’t exist. There is only the best that you can bring as an individual. There are people out there who are waiting to experience the unique creations of your mind, so allow yourself to be seen as you are, whatever that means to you.

Create deadlines and find accountability partners

It was Douglas Adams who famously said, “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they go by.” No one likes deadlines, and Douglas Adams knew this. Unfortunately, they’re there to help us know that the thing we’re creating needs to be finished. The truth is that procrastination is a very real detriment to our goals. It and perfectionism go hand in hand — you cannot find one without the other. However, without a deadline, we can spend an indeterminate amount of time working on a project — sometimes years — and never see it through to the end. Deadlines are here to help us meet that end and ensure that we don’t waste our time working on a goal with no end in sight.

Likewise, having an accountability partner is something that can truly help us — it’s the one thing that’s helped me get 3/4 of my novel done. Once you have someone with whom you check in regularly to see how your progress is going, you’ll find that it’s easier to achieve your goals. Yes, there’s some pressure of not having any progress to show, but your accountability partner should be someone that you feel safe and comfortable with. They’re going to help remind you why you’re doing this. They also aren’t going to be so strict in holding you accountable to your goals that you’ll give yourself a stomach ache whenever it’s time to check-in. An accountability partner should help you accept that sometimes life happens and we can’t always hope to give 100% of ourselves. They’ll gently nudge you to get back on your feet and keep trying, one nugget at a time.

Try freewriting exercises

Freewriting exercises can be helpful when we’ve bullied ourselves into a dark corner. We can easily block our creativity when we’re expecting too much of ourselves or holding ourselves to impossible standards. Trying something just for fun, letting the jumble of ideas flow onto paper (or computer screen, whichever you prefer most). Take that idea that’s been tinkering around in your head and just write anything that pops into your mind. Do not edit. Do not second-guess. Just write. You are the faucet — let the water run.

Create a daily writing routine

I hesitate to say “write every day” because I know that doesn’t work for everyone. It certainly doesn’t work for me. But it does work for a great amount of people, so I need to say it. The things that you make a habit of become part of your routine. If you sit down to write just a few minutes every day, you’ll soon find that your mind starts to automatically want to fill that daily space of time with writing. So create a routine: pick a time, set up your writing space, maybe set a reminder on your phone, then do your best to show up every day. By all means, there may be days when you show up and nothing much happens, and then there will be days when you’ll break the routine. It happens. Life has to life. But keep reaching for a daily writing routine until you find you’re thinking about what you’re going to work on today during that time. Even if you can’t write every day, showing up sometimes is better than showing up never.

Focus on progress, not perfection

Don’t you just wish there was a button we could press and our perfectionism would turn off? Everything would be so much easier. But as I mentioned earlier, creating an awareness of our perfectionism helps. So when you’ve only written 100 words of the 2000 you set out to write, and they all sound like you just learned to write, listen out for that voice when it begins to tell you that once again you’ve failed. That you can’t get it right. Nothing you do is enough. Why do you even try?

Harsh, right? It’d hurt my soul to see someone being spoken to like that. When you notice the bully in your head start going down that negative spiral, bring a gentle awareness to it, and bring out that adult inside of you that loves you. The one that says, “It’s 2000 words, but 100 isn’t bad. It’s something. Slowly but surely, I’ll meet my goals.” Every little bit counts. Art takes a long time to polish. You’re working on a vision that you want to feel true to you and that takes time. Writing a book takes time. And you’re doing it, tiny step by tiny step.

Seek feedback from peers

Seeking feedback from people you feel comfortable with and whom you trust can be encouraging and stimulating. When we receive feedback from people who are able to give us constructive criticism, it helps us gain perspective on how to move forward. It helps us to see more clearly where our blindspots are and to go in and refine our work.

It’s important to remember that continuous improvement is better than perfection. At first, it’ll be hard. But keep showing up for yourself every day. If you have a dream of becoming a published author, then follow this advice to ensure that you’re taking actionable steps to make that dream come true. A big part of that will be silencing the bully who insists on perfection. Practicing the above tips and being persistent with them is bound to give us results.

Remember that the world needs your art. Someone out there is waiting to fall in love with your story.

My editing style is nurturing and compassionate. I help you bring out the brightest, most polished version of your story, of that vision that lives rent-free inside your head, with absolutely no pressure to be perfect or be like anyone else. If you’re looking for an editor, be sure to get in touch with me so we can talk about what your editing needs are!